But I’ll be posting what I’ve archived.

At least, if my settings work, I’ll be doing that.

Have a good week, everyone!

One of the “up” sides to having a house where there is a host of living challenges (unreliable hot water, heat, and a chimney that smokes) is that at least for the chimney problem, the remedy is being able to see a Chimney Sweep.

If you didn’t know that they’re lucky, well – they are.

This guy was funny; I asked him to hold Skye for a picture and he obliged – but seemed uncomfortable. Come to find out he has no children of his own – but sweetly he said to me as he waved goodbye, “Madam, I think your baby made me lucky today, too.”

“Lucky me,” I thought. “I get to hold her everyday.”

I think a lot more dishes would get done if everyone had one.

Two messages. Two, within the last 24 hours from women I admire and who each astound me with their personal strength.  Both messages also made me think, and discover again the significance of 40 days, a recurring number in Christian heritage and belief – and the importance of trusting in the plan for your life – whatever that is.

The first was a note from a member of our family.  She told me that she had been struck with what I have exhibited the last eight years, waiting on God to open the door for the chance to parent a child.  She termed her realization as an “overwhelming awareness of Patience, the first word God chose to describe Love.”  Her beautiful, sensitive reference to the Apostle Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians (1 Cor 13:4) brought me to tears.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a paragon of patience…but it’s funny:  in this capacity, I see now that I was.  I always was.

In June of this year, though, I said to John that I was tiring of waiting.  I told him that I was content to wait only until I turned 42.

“If I turn 42 and we have no leads – and no options for a little one,” I said, “then I think we need to content ourselves with being the best uncle and auntie ever.”   He took me in his arms, fresh from a year away from me.  He kissed my hair while I cried, and said he understood.

We got a phone call the next month.  We met Skye’s beautiful mother just a week after that conversation; we were enchanted with her.  I think all of us were moved by the overwhelming sense of peace that seemed to settle over the room as we talked about this little life.

I hoped.

In mid-August, one day shy of 40 days after that phone call, our girl was born.

And one day shy of 40 days after that, I turned 42.

Many nights since, I have thanked God for laughing in the face of my “timeline” and for teaching me to wait on His.

Message number two was from a close friend, who posted this comment to a picture on Facebook of Skye and me today, Skye’s little hand wedged under my chin – both of us sleeping peacefully:

“Look at my friend…she had dodged bullets, worked 18 hour days, and fought for our country , nothing slowed her down….looks like u hv met ur match holly…lol u were born to be a great mother…..just like ur mother…..thank u god for blessing my friend..xxoo.”

I have no words.  So insightful.  So unbelievably kind and open-hearted.  And I love the reference to my own, awesome mom.

These days, my favorite song to sing for Skye is “Lullaby” by the Dixie Chicks.  The languid, easy-to-play guitar rhythm, the hushed-voice style, and most of all, the words – they just get me and say exactly what I’m feeling:

Melissa, you’re right. I have met my match.  He has blessed me for sure, beyond all I could have ever imagined.

I get really excited about women who can write and who can cook…and who blog about it.  I first found Molly, and through her, Jess.

Last night, I read Jess’s entry about “Teddie’s Apple Cake” and it inspired me to make it.  I’m a savory cook – not really into baking – but this sounded really good. Plus, I love the way she describes everything.  Her blog is really fun to read.

So, I made Teddie’s cake.  Tonight.  Only thing I did differently is that I added 1/4 cup of Craisins to the cake…the tart addition just seemed right to me.   Well, I also didn’t discriminate on the apples.  I used what I found in the commissary…one was a Golden Delicious and one was a Braeburn, or something like that.  (Whatever!  Use what you want!)

And the verdict from John and Jan is:  “Make it again!” 

I’ve pasted the important parts from Jess’ post – in the italics that follow.

~~~*~~~

The recipe for Teddie’s Apple Cake first appeared in a New York Times article by Jean Hewitt in 1973. Amanda Hesser published it again in the Times in 2007, and again when it made the cut for The Essential New York Times Cookbook that came out last year. The recipe is, of course, Teddie’s. And while we don’t know anything about this Teddie, not even a last name, one thing is clear: whoever Teddie was, Teddie knew her (his?) cake.

There is nothing surprising about this cake. Apple meets cinnamon, meets walnut, meets sugar, eggs, and flour. An obvious combination, if ever there was one. Classic is classic for a reason, though. Teddie must have gotten that. The cake is made with oil, not butter, which caught my attention because I like the texture of most oil-based cakes: the way the crumbs cling to each other only lightly, as if trying not to touch at all, how when you mash your fork with the slightest pressure into the last bits on the plate, they stick. In some ways, it’s a delicate cake, but thanks to so much apple and a craggy upper crust, it feels hearty, too.

Teddie’s cake is an everyday cake, which is to say that it’s simple enough that you don’t need a special occasion to make it. It’s icing-less, and not too sweet and, in this case, so packed with fruit, it’s practically health food. But my favorite thing about everyday cakes is that, almost without fail, they are also anytime cakes.This one is, for sure. Eat it for dessert with loosely whipped cream, for breakfast, for second breakfast, or for those unnamed meals between pages written, or phone calls returned, when a quick stroll through the kitchen is only civilized. Yes, when it’s time to bake an apple cake, I recommend Teddie’s.

Teddie’s Apple Cake
Adapted from The New York Times, November 4, 2007 (Originally published, September 30, 1973)

The original recipe is for a large amount of batter that bakes in a 9-inch tube pan. I shied away from that for a couple of reasons. First, I don’t have a tube pan. But moreover, tube cakes are huge. I’m all for everyday cake, but if I’m going to eat a cake every day (and, as we’ve also established, anytime), I need to be able to slice off a wedge every now and then that’s significantly smaller than the state of Texas. Plus, there are only two of us here – two cake eaters, anyway – and this cake would be a terrible thing to waste. If you’d prefer to make the original whopper of a tube cake, double this recipe, use 3 eggs instead of two, and increase the bake time to 1 hour and 15 minutes. The recipe here is for one 9-inch round cake. Finally, the original recipe calls for 1 cup of raisins, but I omitted them because I thought that they might make the cake too sweet. If you decide to include raisins, add them when you add the walnuts.

1½ c. flour
½ tsp. salt
½ tsp. cinnamon
½ tsp. baking soda
¾ c. vegetable oil
1 c. sugar
2 large eggs
½ tsp. vanilla
2 c. peeled, cored, and thickly sliced apples (I used a combination of Jonagold and Cortland.)
Heaped ½ c. walnuts, chopped
1 Tbsp. Demerara sugar (optional)

Oil and flour a 9-inch round cake pan and heat the oven to 350 degrees.

Beat the oil and sugar together in a mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Meanwhile, sift together the flour, salt, cinnamon, and baking soda in a medium bowl. After five minutes, add the eggs and then the vanilla to the oil and sugar, and continue beating until the mixture is creamy.

Add the dry ingredients into the sugar, egg, and oil mixture and stir by hand until just combined. Fold in the apple slices and walnuts. It will look like a lot of apple and not enough batter, but it all works out in the end.

Transfer the batter to the prepared pan, sprinkle with Demarara sugar if you’d like, and bake for 45-50 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean. Cool in the pan before turning out.

Serves 8-10.

More to follow in the days and weeks to come, but here is a quick scene from today – as we waited for Skye’s Bluebird Ornament to be signed by the calligrapher.

We also got her smiling (!) at us on video today…absolutely precious. Of course, I sound like a babbling idiot on it – but I am over the moon for this kid. Skye Smiles

So shoot me.

Maybe tomorrow. This picture of Spectre, waiting for me in the field behind our house, kind of expresses my frustration.

Kind of.

I might have actually been more in the fetal position, though.

After a long month, we are supposed to have internet at home tomorrow.  Not posting entries sometimes felt like a vacation, but after awhile I started to miss it.  By tomorrow night, I hope to be publishing an entry from the desk in the room next to Baby’s. It looks out over treetops. A writer’s garret of my very own!

Though our house is *messy and unsettled*, and there are lingering problems with heat and hot water that make living difficult – I’m seeing a glimpse of order in the chaos. 

But the most important things have been and are here with me. As I look back over these last silent 30 days of cold showers and perpetually cold feet and hands – that’s what I choose to remember.

Today’s my birthday. I’m still in my “early forties” and so far, this decade has been my best, ever.

As I snapped these pictures this morning – favorite flowers sent from My Beloved, our Little One sleeping peacefully and, finally – her snuggle-time with our Big Black Dog – I thought…

“I am happier than I have ever been.”

Moments like this when you  really know you’ve been blessed?

They surely are the best gifts of all.

For so long, my work was my life.

Soon, I’ll have to go back to it – and I find myself, in these days of moving and prepping – and anticipation of being a family again, asking myself over and over…“What is ‘work’, again?”